hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
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