P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Randomize
