i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
