Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
