i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Randomize
