Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
