i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Randomize
