Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Randomize