Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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