is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
