just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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