you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
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