You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
