I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Randomize
