Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Randomize
