Princesses don't give blow jobs
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
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