I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
and she was petting her beer can
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
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