Got a toothbrush?
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
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