My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
