come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
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