wakey wakey hands off snakey
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
