you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
