sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
