I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
