I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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