im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Girls should come with a carfax report
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Randomize
