Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
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