well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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