dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
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