she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
