i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
