I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
is wine microwaveable?
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize