So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
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