it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
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