well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Fuck appropriateness.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Randomize
