Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
