Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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