Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
