Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
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