Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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