she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
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