It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize