Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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