I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
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