We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
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