Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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