if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
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