i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize
