Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
