And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
