Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Randomize
