Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
