Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
