This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
