It's Friday. Sex?
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
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