i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
