Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
