That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Randomize
