and she was petting her beer can
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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