Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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