she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Randomize
